SCRIPTSHARK

Type of Material: Screenplay Title: EVERMORE

Number of Pages: 113 Author: Gary Wright

Submitted By: Triggerstreet Circa: 1841-1849

Submitted To: Location: Baltimore

Analyst: AM Genre: Historical drama

LOG LINE: The story of the growing rivalry between Edgar Allen Poe and his former friend Rufus Griswold, who wrote a scathing obituary for Poe after his death.

	Excellent	Good	Fair	Poor	Budget
Idea		X
Story Line			X		High
Characterization		X			Medium	X
Dialogue		X			Low
Production Value		X

THE SHARK GRID:

MECHANICS	Excellent	Solid	Needs Work	Re-Think	N/A
Action lines clearly and concisely manifest visual action and literal context.		X
Scenes avoid the problem of continuing beyond optimal length.			X
Spelling, grammar, and proofreading.		X
Page count.		X
The script’s physical presentation.		X
Dialogue.		X
The script effectively manifests a compelling theme and adheres to it throughout the story.		X

CHARACTER	Excellent	Solid	Needs Work	Re-Think	N/A
The protagonist clearly manifests both internal and external goals.		X
The protagonist has consistent opposition to his/her goals.		X
The protagonist is sympathetic and/or engages our emotional investment.		X
The protagonist clearly changes / has an arc.		X
The supporting characters are unique and add value to the story.		X
All of the characters are authentic to their backgrounds.		X
The script has an effective antagonistic force, direct or indirect.		X

STRUCTURE:	Excellent	Solid	Needs Work	Re-Think	N/A
The script has a strong structural foundation that serves the story, classic three-act structure or otherwise.			X
Plots and subplots work together.			X
The set-up is concise, and effective.		X
The story has well-designed reversals.		X
Transitions are effective and appropriate to the story.			X
Every scene has relevance.			X
The story includes an effective dramatic climax / payoff.		X
The setup is resolved effectively.		X
A catalytic situation drives the plot.		X
Dramatic conflict and tension build across scenes, throughout the plot.		X

MARKET VALUE	Excellent	Solid	Needs Work	Re-Think	N/A
Originality / freshness.		X
The story has a clearly defined target audience.			X
The story clearly has mass audience (universal) appeal.			X
The story includes a conceptual “hook” that could potentially be used to effectively market the film.		X

PRODUCTION VALUE	Excellent	Solid	Needs Work	Re-Think	N/A
The lead character is castable / has star appeal.		X
The visual arena of the script is stimulating.		X
The project has International appeal.		X

COMMENTS:

Based on the real-life rivalry between writers Edgar Allen Poe and Rufus Griswold, EVERMORE is a well-told script that provides strong development of both protagonists. Though the story is framed around Griswold’s obituary for Poe – an obituary that could charitably be described as a hatchet job – the flashbacks do an effective job of demonstrating how both men are culpable for their rift.

The script begins with a plot device that this reader usually finds tiresome, starting at the end of the story and then framing everything else as a flashback. This happens to be one of the rare instances where doing so enhances the story rather than feeling tacked on. The scene that reveals Poe’s death instantly draws the audience in. (This reader rather enjoyed the quip, “Papers won’t like that, will they?”) Griswold is assigned the task of writing the obituary for the Daily Tribune, and claims that though he knew the man, he was not his friend. Then the film beings its flashbacks with scenes that demonstrate both how friendly Poe and Griswold were, as well as the extent of the liberties that Griswold is taking with his obituary. In particular, the juxtaposition between Griswold’s “gloomy” description of the man, and the visual of Poe being a “lively raconteur” makes it clear exactly what Griswold’s game is here. It’s a good, and perhaps humorous way to get the audience interested in what exactly drove those two men apart.

In the first act, we see the two men become friends, as well as learn about Griswold’s marital problems with his new bride Charlotte. She’s incapable of having sex, which causes some tension between her and Griswold, as well as between Griswold and Poe after he’s confided in his friend. One of the highlights of this act is Virginia’s low opinion of Poe’s writing, particularly when she begs him not to bore everyone half to death with his words. There’s also some good humor on p. 23 when she mocks his decision to use the word “termagant.” Lighter moments like this go a long way towards making the film accessible to a audience that might not usually place an Edgar Allan Poe biopic at the top of their must-see list. On top of that, it establishes Virginia as a woman who speaks her mind, which leads to another good moment when she mocks Griswold’s own skill at interpreting “The Haunted Palace.”

At the end of Act One, we at last reach the first major turning point in the Poe/Griswold dynamic. Griswold takes exception to the fact that Poe used personal information he told him in one of his stories. The tension between the two increases when Griswold also feels that Poe’s NEVER BET THE DEVIL YOUR HEAD and THE BIRTH-MARK are aimed at him. Eventually he asks him “as a friend” not to use him in his fiction. Poe agrees, but does it in a fashion that seems designed to provoke Griswold further. (His “My tales will be poorer for it,” just drips with an overly dramatic “woe is me.”) It’s another good scene because it shows that the falling out of this friendship was a two-way street. Up until now, we’ve mainly seen Griswold as the less mature one, through his obituary. Here, we’re shown that Poe did his fair share to provoke that reaction. Was Poe being unfair to his friend by using him as inspiration for his work? Possibly. Was Griswold being too sensitive, and perhaps overreacting to details that few might have associated with him? Also possible. In the end, we’re left with the feeling that neither man’s hands are clean in this and that both of them could have handled things better. Furthermore, the screenwriter is wise enough to not beat the audience over the head with this, and allow them to come to these conclusions on their own, and the second act shows plenty of examples of this back-and-forth. From Griswold’s ascension to Poe’s former post as editor, to Poe’s heartbreak at the loss of his wife, to the collapse of Griswold’s marriage, there’s plenty here that hits the mark.

In general, the dialogue is rather strong. It was a pleasant surprise to read a script with a period setting where all the characters weren’t written to sound stiff and formal. It’s often a challenge to make period dialogue sound natural to modern ears. Too often, this reader has seen a writer either go overboard in evoking a classical style, to the point that the film is interminable, or they’ll use colloquialisms that keep breaking the mood. Here, the writer finds the right balance. Characters are allowed to be educated and witty, but not overly stuffy (except in cases where that stuffiness is deliberate.)

However, there are some weaknesses that need to be addressed. In the second act, the script feels like it devotes a little too much space to the fantasy sequences of Poe’s works. While one imagines that this would earn the gratitude of a nation of high school students who are assigned those works, stopping so often for these sequences ends up breaking the flow of the story. It also eventually starts to come across as padding, even though there are certain thematic advantages to showing, say, The Tell-Tale Heart in its entirety. Certainly it underscores the relationship between Griswold and Poe at this point in time, and dramatizes how Griswold again feels that Poe is tweaking him in his writing. The problem is that these sequences are just too long and there are too many of them. It’s a bit too much of a good thing.

On top of that, we then have to endure a seven-page reading of The Raven. Considering the amount of dialogue, that’s probably ten minutes worth of screentime, and a large percentage of this just takes place in the magazine newsroom. It’s clearly an “actor’s moment” – and a scene that could sink the whole movie if the part of Poe was miscast. With the right actor, it could be an awesome moment, but this reader fears that if you’ve already tested the audience’s patience with the other “fantasy” sequences, they’ll be restless by the time this one starts. Of all of these story-segments – Poe’s dramatic reading might be the least flashy, but it’s the most important dramatically. What’s more, this reader finds it difficult to cut this reading down, and still have it retain that power. The best solution this reader can offer is to abbreviate the other four or so fantasy scenes. Making the sacrifice there will probably earn the script some leeway with the slow pacing of this sequence. At the very least, consider cutting The Cask of Amontillado. After that Raven sequence, this reader was anxious to spend some time in the “real world” of the story – being launched immediately into another nine-page fantasy served to drastically break the spell for this reader.

Finally, as good as this script is, this reader doesn’t know if it’s all that marketable. It’s hard to see this as a studio picture. It feels more like a small independent film, or possibly even a made-for-cable movie. The best way to get this produced would be to first attach a director who is dying to make a story about Edgar Allen Poe. Since it’s a period piece about two writers, it’s not hard to imagine that the studio will need some convincing that there is a mass audience interested in this material.