SCRIPTSHARK

Type of Material: Screenplay Title: OPERATION: ATOMIC BLITZ

Number of Pages: 106 Author: mlambush

Submitted By: Circa: 1944

Submitted To: Location: Germany

Analyst: AM Genre: Action

Coverage Date: 3/24/08

LOG LINE: To get a full pardon, a British spy must rescue a captured physicist and get crucial atomic research before a German faction obtains it and uses it to launch an atomic attack on London.

	Excellent	Good	Fair	Poor	Budget
Idea		X
Story Line		X			High	X
Characterization		X			Medium
Dialogue		X			Low
Production Value	X

THE SHARK GRID:

MECHANICS	Excellent	Solid	Needs Work	Re-Think	N/A
Action lines clearly and concisely manifest visual action and literal context.	X
Scenes avoid the problem of continuing beyond optimal length.		X
Spelling, grammar, and proofreading.		X
Page count.		X
The script’s physical presentation.		X
Dialogue.		X
The script effectively manifests a compelling theme and adheres to it throughout the story.		X

CHARACTER	Excellent	Solid	Needs Work	Re-Think	N/A
The protagonist clearly manifests both internal and external goals.		X
The protagonist has consistent opposition to his/her goals.		X
The protagonist is sympathetic and/or engages our emotional investment.		X
The protagonist clearly changes / has an arc.		X
The supporting characters are unique and add value to the story.		X
All of the characters are authentic to their backgrounds.		X
The script has an effective antagonistic force, direct or indirect.			X

STRUCTURE:	Excellent	Solid	Needs Work	Re-Think	N/A
The script has a strong structural foundation that serves the story, classic three-act structure or otherwise.		X
Plots and subplots work together.		X
The set-up is concise, and effective.		X
The story has well-designed reversals.		X
Transitions are effective and appropriate to the story.		X
Every scene has relevance.		X
The story includes an effective dramatic climax / payoff.		X
The setup is resolved effectively.		X
A catalytic situation drives the plot.		X
Dramatic conflict and tension build across scenes, throughout the plot.		X

MARKET VALUE	Excellent	Solid	Needs Work	Re-Think	N/A
Originality / freshness.		X
The story has a clearly defined target audience.		X
The story clearly has mass audience (universal) appeal.		X
The story includes a conceptual “hook” that could potentially be used to effectively market the film.		X

PRODUCTION VALUE	Excellent	Solid	Needs Work	Re-Think	N/A
The lead character is castable / has star appeal.		X
The visual arena of the script is stimulating.	X
The project has International appeal.		X

COMMENTS:

OPERATION: ATOMIC BLITZ is a World War II spy film that could easily be pitched as “James Bond vs. the Nazis.” There are a lot of ways that a script with that premise could have gone wrong, but what emerges is a rather fun romp for any fan of the spy genre. The writer manages to walk the fine line between incorporating tropes of the genre and recycling clichés. Even though audiences have probably see several variations on these plot points, somehow it all feels new.

Garrett Davies is given a strong introduction in a sequence that shows him to be efficient and well-trained. The first fifteen minutes of this script are made up of non-stop action that manages to incorporate just about all of the main characters without straining to do so. The tension really builds through this scene, with a genuine shock coming when Garrett actually fails to stop the launch of the missiles, and doesn’t get away with the girl. It’s definitely an effective way to get the story started with a bang, and leave the hero with something to redeem himself from. These early scenes so effectively put the audience in a James Bond state of mind, that it’s something of a shock on p. 23 when we discover he used to be a criminal. It’s a good way to subvert the audience’s expectations and to add new elements to some very familiar premises. Later in the script Johanna seems shocked that he’d have a personal motivation for taking on the mission – not just doing it for God and country. Her accusation that he’s never done anything that didn’t benefit himself doesn’t quite ring true coming from her. (They barely know each other) Still, considering how important this notion is to his character arc, is there any other way to put this idea in play without relying on Johanna to do it.

In these films, exposition always is an incredible burden. The story works best if there’s complexity to the action, but at the same time, too much plot inevitably results in a lot of exposition that could bring the action to a screeching halt. The writer manages to deal with the plot exposition in a pretty efficient way on pp. 24-25. The mission parameters and the stakes are all laid down in fairy short order. For Garrett, the stakes turn out to be personal as well, because if he completes this, his criminal record will be expunged. All in all, the first act is pretty successful in getting the story moving without ever feeling like it has to come to a complete stop to accommodate the exposition.

On top of that, the best antidote to the necessary “mission briefing” scene is another action scene soon after. The sequence when the RAF transport is attacked by Derica’s pilots is a thrilling bit of writing, especially Garrett leap from the exploding plane to take on the attacking planes with only his pistol and his parachute. It’s an audacious scene and this reader loved every minute of it. A sequence like this removes all doubt about the tone of the film. It’s a fun adventure romp in the spirit of Indiana Jones, where even though the Nazis might be a threat, realism doesn’t creep in enough to dilute the fun.

A spy movie is nothing without solid antagonists and this script delivers the goods. Von Keil oozes menace from the time he shows up and his Clark Gable fixation provides a lot of amusement during the script. The presence of a character like Derica is also a good sign that the film isn’t going to take itself too seriously. She makes for a good femme fatale and it reads like the sort of “bad girl” part that an actress would relish. Her interrogation of Johanna pretty much sums up this entire character in the space of a scene, as well as drawing distinctions between her and Von Kiel. Von Kiel is pretty evil, but between the two, this reader would probably be more scared of finding himself at the wrong end of Derica’s temper.

It takes until about the halfway mark before the audience learns Von Kiel’s real agenda, and it feels pretty original. It stands to reason that there would be Germans who disapprove of Hitler, but also don’t want to lose the war to the Allies. Telling a story about that faction working to overcome Hitler for its own reasons is a good idea, and it sets up an effective turning point in the story when Johanna explains that England will be the target of an atomic bomb in an effort to scare the Allies into surrendering. With the stakes all in place, the pacing of the second half of the story is swift, as practically each subsequent scene either raises the stakes further or shows Von Kiel’s plan taking another step closer to fruition.

The script also pulls off an effective twist when Sydney Dukes is revealed to be a traitor. In hindsight, this reader should have at least suspected it, because rarely does the “helpful” agent in these movies not have a sinister side. The earlier mentions of other characters working as double agents also should have been a clue, but the script is so subtle about this that the majority of the audience should end up just as duped by Sydney as Garrett is. The character’s introduction is simply so disarming that the audience is inclined to take him at face value. On top of that is the fact that he seems even more professional than our hero.

The end of Act Two threatens to become too chaotic, but by the time that Johanna figures out where the missile would have to be launched from, the script again finds its focus. With the ariel battle that builds up to the climax, the writer proves that he didn’t blow all of his good ideas in the also-inventive action beats that dominated the first half of the script. Garrett’s quick thinking with planting the bomb was smart, and the only quibble this reader would have is that Derica’s death wasn’t quite satisfying enough given her presence earlier in the story.

It would be easy to take this for granted but the writer manages to give every character a distinct voice. For the most part, the dialogue is strong, though after a while, all the Hamlet one-liners and references begin to great. (This reader’s breaking point was “Alas, poor Yorick” on p. 46, and “He doth protest too much, methinks” came dangerously close to earning a groan on p. 50.)

Usually, this reader would be concerned that the script’s period setting would be an obstacle in marketing the film. The fact is that this script is executed effectively so that one thinks of it as an action film first and a period film second. It has a sense of fun that hasn’t been seen in a WWII-era film since Indiana Jones, and this reader feels confident in saying that most fans of that genre would probably be at least entertained by this film. In addition to lively characters, the script boasts several distinct and inventive action scenes. This reader is left with few specific notes for improvement, as even the points he didn’t like were less about the writer’s ability or lack thereof, and more a matter of preference. The bottom line: this is a film that knows who its audience is and it plays to that group masterfully.