Two videos, one Digest! The off-the-chain Hollywood A-S-S-T rap video first, then (best for last) Matt and Andy's Sundance '09 recap at the end of the article.


Hollywood ASST from Back of the Class on Vimeo.

First off, props to the guys at Back of the Class for this video on the life of a Hollywood assistant. I will say laughter quickly turned to fear as I watched while my reality hit me in the face like Michael Phelps hitting the bong.

Secondly, I find it a bit awkward when answering questions about my job as an assistant in Hollywood. Do I try to make it sound cool or let the stereotype of a “little guy with no pull” run rampant? I‘d say this video puts me in my place.

So now, a checklist of similarities between my assistant gig and the one(s) described in the video.

- Get coffee? Check
- Read trades, don‘t know shit? Check
- Rent, don‘t own? Check
- Can‘t afford Patron? Check
- White twenty something with spiky hair? Shit. Check.
- Ride is really shitty? Check (mine actually has more bird shit on it than the one in the video.)
- Headaches? Seriously!? Check.
- Rollin, rollin, rolling — calls? Check
- Call Wally‘s, send vino? Check

But being an assistant in “The Biz” is what you make it — no different than any other job. Sure, 60-hour workweeks filled with incessant yelling, dropped phone calls, scheduling mishaps, sandwiches with white instead of wheat, and all-nighters can be rough. That‘s expected.

So what makes it worthwhile?

For one, no two weeks are the same. The variety of daily tasks may range from mundane to heart racing but would rarely be described as the same-old, same-old. I don‘t know how agency assistants have it, but Matt and I frequently find ourselves knee-deep in New Task Land with many more questions than answers.

Rolling calls can be rough, especially when relying on an AT&T cell phone signal. But once you connect important person A with really important person B, the fun begins.

Obviously, I‘m not at liberty to say what I hear, but from salaries to insider-gossip, the assistant's telephone (make sure that mute button's pressed) can be an entertaining place to be.

And there is no better place to be a fly (a small, meaningless one) on the wall. Any given day, I get an inside look at how movies are made — from the re-writes, location scouting to casting, I‘m sponging up any and all information I can squeeze into my already-suspect memory.

But the perk of all perks? A trip to Sundance. That‘s right, somehow Matt and I convinced Dana (see: ice cold Stella Artois and begging) to bring us along to Park City, Utah for the 2009 festival. Our tasks? Don‘t lose Dana‘s luggage, make sure Dana is fed and has coffee, and shoot a behind-the-scenes video. The latter is presented below.

Finally, after three weeks of edits (I am to editing what molasses is to speed), I present Trigger Street‘s week in Sundance — The Assistant‘s Angle.

Enjoy.