This was a very good script and very well done, but I think the premise is just a little to close to What Dreams May Come. In both movies, the protagonist fights his way through hell with a trusty side kick to rescue someone he loves. You take it the comedic route and maybe that's enough to differentiate.

First, I think I only found two kinda sorta typos:
pg 5. add I in "I wore this yesterday didn't ?" maybe on purpose cause will interrupts
pg 55. celtx double space error, last line. If you are using celtx, the double space after the period in "You murdered an entire family." throws family to the next line when it could easily fit on the first.

Now on with the meaty parts of the review. I was a little thrown that Will and Sara were brother and sister and not married, but I think you chose correctly. If Sara was a jesus freak and Will an athiest, that marriage would be difficult. You'd also be one step closer to the previous movie. I made a note about this as I was reading, but after further thought, you went the right way.

I felt the setup for the quest could use a little work. God just tells him, "This is what you have to do to get her. Here's a sidekick." But now that I think of this one, you couldn't pick a better spot for a deus ex machina. I'm going to debunk my whole review. I would have liked a less expository way for Will to figure out what he has to do for his quest.

I had some reservations about Chad, let's see if I can't talk myself out of those. We do get a bit of his motivation, that he wants to give something back, but he's putting eternity on the line for very little. God says help Will so he does, but why not give him his own reasons for trying to get into hell... say goodbye to someone, say he's sorry, punch a guy in the face for killing him. I don't know. Seems odd to be so eager to risk eternity in hell for being spared an eternity in hell.

Easy question, why go up the circles of hell? I always thought they got deeper. Do they go up in the divine comedy and I forgot that?

And finally, how exactly did Will help speed things up in Purgatory? I assume he just used his anal-IRS background, but you might want to make it more clear.

The last thing is the humor. I think you could improve things in a lot of places, but there were no groaners for me. Also, I actually laughed out loud at the 8th circle. Overall, good job, but I'd be worried about how close the general premise is to that other movie.

another path to hell
By: Hankster266
Review of: Through Hell, For Sara (v5)
on: 11/20/2009
Let me know where the corporate headquarters for this religion are, I wish to join. The title is good, but... [more]

Through Hell for Sara but heaven to read.
By: lizzayn
Review of: Through Hell, For Sara (v5)
on: 11/19/2009
The concept is stellar. I really like the idea the story. It's fresh and original. Definitely an EXCELLENT. I'm only... [more]

A review of
By: Imthiyaz
Review of: Through Hell, For Sara (v5)
on: 11/16/2009
First of all, awesome title, awesome concept. Congratulations on writing an enjoyable script, that had a solid structure, with a... [more]

No Athiest Joke, I'm Offended
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Review of: The International Olympic Messiah Competition
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This is going to be an odd review. I hated this story and found it painful to get through, but... [more]

Solid script
By: Mike Souder
Review of: Snow (Revision)
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This is a very well put together script that, as far as I can tell, only has one relatively minor... [more]

Child porn jokes never work
By: Mike Souder
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on: 11/06/2009
Child porn jokes never work. Trust me on this. They ruin an otherwise decent comedy that actually kept me reading.... [more]

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