The picture of easy drugs and sex has nicely drawn by you, but I personally feel a bit too much. I know sex and drugs sell, but this script is too raunchy. Take This dialogue by. DETECTIVE GIDEON (CONT’D)
Hell, we found enough sperm in
There to paint a picket fence.
I found it arksome.
I think you can show the character is a prostitute in a less morbid way. This is my personal opinion.
Your characters have come out well. Charley Kloss has been portrayed as a drug addict. He is than show as a killer of persons who rape young children.
Your character is also good. He does not want to give HIV to Kandy. A man with a heart is Charley Kloss.
Pedophile is a really a sad thing, it really changes children and it is often done by known persons.
The molester is it a he or she > I thought it is Mr Lloyns than Charley been given a drug by a lady. This is not clear.
Poor Charles in the end he should die. But there is no positive note in your story. What is positive about the script ‘He should have fought his demons in a better way? Probably by killing sex offenders he is finding his peace.

HIVigilante
By: BradfordHolt
Review of: Positive (+) Rev
on: 01/04/2010
First, I commend you on the very well written script. It was a quick read and provided vivid imagery. I... [more]

Probably not the feel good movie of the year but...
By: Kevin Via
Review of: Positive (+) Rev
on: 01/03/2010
Very unique, cleanly written, script. I clearly saw the movie in my head. I also appreciated the absence of typo-type... [more]

Well written and bizarre
By: 38InchWaist
Review of: Positive (+) Rev
on: 12/30/2009
Christopher, I liked it a lot. Keep up the good work. I’ve organized my review using the rating categories. I've... [more]

suspense is hypnotised
By: padnar
Review of: HYPOXIA
on: 02/09/2010
Hi, I hope that you will find my review a bit useful. As I am an Indian, my English is... [more]

Iris escapes bad men
By: padnar
Review of: Iris of the Garden
on: 01/13/2010
Hi, It is quite an interesting story and goes with an even pace. The title ia slso apt All your... [more]

Changes in Business
By: padnar
Review of: CLUNKER
on: 01/03/2010
Hi, I found that you are interested in reviews from the discussion forum, so i thought to give a constructive... [more]

You know, we never get tired of saying it: yet another TriggerStreet.com screenplay submission has... [more]

Earn credits to get reviews of your comic books! You can now request to be... [more]

Yet another TriggerStreet.com screenplay submission has been recognized with a consider from professional script coverage... [more]